Sunday, March 11, 2018

Kim Slurpin’ In The Nude

Monica Sisavat, writing in Popsugar last week, penned an “Only Kim Kardashian Could Eat Ramen While Topless and Make It Look Sexy” piece, showing Kim doing just that. Staring out from the Instagram-account-heard-round the-world, Kim is sitting at a table, lifting a bowl of ramen to her mouth, obscuring her obviously ample bare breasts with her arms, leaning into slurp back a noddle. The pic was taken supposedly during the reality star’s recent trip to Tokyo. 
Here’s what first comes to my mind for me: 1.) Really, Kim, this is what you take pictures of? 2.) Really Popsugar, this is what you make stories from? 3.) Really, not all nudity is good nudity, as my buddy Bob is so fond of saying.

It’s not exactly that food and skin turns me off. Way back in the day Chris and I attended a YNOT convention in San Francisco (actually where we met) and I recall a suite-full of people watching and some partaking in, lifting a chopstick to pluck sushi off a comely naked model’s front; “Naked Sushi” this was called. I also know of, and have watched The Erotic Heritage Museum’s show “Baking Naked,” and enjoy the fine fun confectionary frolic of flower rising round warm and compliant skin. 

I really don’t know for me when food/cooking or eating mixed with nudity doesn’t work, but it does sometimes, just as much as it doesn’t others. This Kim Kardashian slurping ramen topless...sorry, it just doesn’t work for me, but I like Kim. I like her topless. I like her in a house, with a mouse and all of her well-proportioned green-eggs and-ham that I have seen break the net over and over. So it ain’t this lady’s giblets I abhor. It is, as with all things, at all times, with all aspects of human nature…context. And as with most things, it’s a completely subjective thing I can only describe as a ‘feeling,’ and nothing more, that makes me turn from Kim eating ramen noodles sans shirt and, sorry, not for me.

But have at your ramen or whatever you like, and be naked all you want Kim. Just be careful of the splash, sizzle and splatter, that shit can really hurt!

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